Ok, Lets Try This One More Time.... "shall we"

Excuse me , but do you recognize this photo?


Can you guess what this is?  " WRONG !!"  I bet you though this was a roller coaster, but what it really is sadly, is your DIET !!  Well at least it's MY diet.

No matter how many times I ride the crazy diet train, I some how always manage to get stuck at the top and then sit there waiting for some tall, dark and handsome fire fighter to come get me down.  Maybe a personal trainer who works pro-bono .. if you know what I mean.
But then I wake up and the dream is over and I'm still stuck at the top.           The Top of the Scale.

I finally realized that the only way down is if I get out and push.  The big wake up call came on my birthday. That dreaded day, when I realized in 2 years I'll be 50 , but if I didn't get it together , I stood a chance of not  making it that long.
 So, I've climbed out of the Roller Coaster, at the top, looking down... way down, vertigo down.  and just like when you are way up high on a cliff , you hear the voices in your head say :  "Don't look down, just keep moving, and preferable not Over the Cliff".
If you hear another voice say "JUMP" , just ignore them, that's some irate driver who wants you to get off the bridge already and stop holding up traffic!!
So, that's what I've been doing, moving forward, not the jumping part.  I'm Not looking way down, only looking at the path, staying the course until I make it to the bottom.
and what better way to make everyone else suffer my ever so exciting frustration on this journey, then to Blog about it!!
Get my creative juices flowing again and get some of you nags off my BACK!.  Are you happy now???!! .

My first step was to get back to logging my food.  To do a food journal.  If we can pick up our smart phones 20 times day to check our Facebook status, there is no reason why we can't pick it up at the same time and log all the food we ate.  The key here for me is to " just log it" .  Not to worry about what I'm logging, how much, how many calories, worried about being criticized for what I've been eating... Just Log It and Own It ! .  This was truly an eye opener, to actually acknowledge the true number of calories we eat in a day, and let me tell you folks, Butter is the Enemy !! I might have mentioned that before.

A bowl of KD ( aka Kraft Dinner or Mac & Cheese for the US peeps), with a hot dog cut up and mixed in [I know disgusting, just grab your garbage can and keep reading],  has over 800 calories.  If one is looking to lose weight and be in a range of 1500 calories a day, one can NOT afford to eat Mac& Cheese............ E-VER! unless you eat like a 1/4 cup.  Good thing I do not crave this delicacy, as its only attraction was that it was cheap, fast & easy, like a Hollywood Hooker, therefore, I can happily walk away.

There are many apps and/or websites one can use to log their food and keep track of their health choices. I have personally picked " MyFitnessPal " .  One reason is because many of my friends use it, its one of the original applications, it has a huge library of sources, and its very easy to use.  The website and the app are very simple.   I have gone onto Spark People, but I find their website almost too much and that you can't navigate around very well.  Its overwhelming for sure. For the computer sassy person, its a great website for keeping track of more than your food, measurements, they provide meal plans to suit your lifestyle and some great recipes with all the info you need. For me its just too cluttered and confusing.  I'm dieting, I have a short temper and attention span, remember !
If anyone out there is reading this and you have MFP or decide to join, add me as a friend.  I'm under " yayagocrazy " .  Mention that I sent you.  ha.

I have left my "food diary" open for all to see.  I'm sure it needs much fine tuning, I've already heard the criticism and all I can say is ..... @#$$%^#$%.  maybe I can't say that, its a family blog.
I have made lots of changes in what I've been eating, more conscious choices in how I make foods, what foods I buy, read labels, look at calorie counts, spend my calories where they count most.
I just have to KEEP Logging.   I'm 27 days in,  3 more days and according to the experts, this will become a habit, and hopefully not the kind of habit that will require me to get a "food log patch" after I'm down to 98lbs..... must keeeeeeeepppp gggooooiiinnnggg...

I'm currently down 14.6 lbs , with some fluctuation here and there, but not in crisis mode just yet.
Second step is to start incorporating exercise ... so lots of swimming for me.  At least while its warm out.

So I hope you all will once again try to follow along at my latest journey , maybe learn a thing or two, for example, that you really don't care about my journey , but at least try to take away a good read.

Next step is over coming the highs and lows and the diet traps...the mental games.

oh, and I know " blah blah blah , your not suppose to diet, its a lifestyle change, blah blah blah " .
GO blow it out your Fitness Bootcamp !! face it , most of us diet at some point in our lives.

small changes, small steps , small goals - makes for healthier people.

I'm Fat, so lets not sugar coat it!!

 A few of you out there may already know that I have taken on  my next challenge in life. 

 One that doesn't so much require me to change my diet, but to start deleting one very evil ingredient !!  The one thing that children can't get enough of, and sadly for many, that's too true, they get too much.
Without it, Krispy Kreme lovers would cry without it, men around the world  bbq'ing their ribs, would scream for justice ... the one ingredient that would put the Cup Cake Girls OUT of business.. ( which might not be such a bad idea )... yes...  you know who I speak off... he who shall be named on all package labels...  

SUGAR !!!! and not just that evil master we know as  "processed cane sugar", but also his cousins, brown sugar, maple syrup & honey, and his off springs , glucose AND fructose.

After the pursuit of many diets or "life style changes" , I have come to the conclusion that anyone really trying to change who they are, will have a very difficult time.  
 Many experts say you have to replace a bad habit with a good habit.  But is that really true? Why not just stop the bad habit and just carry on with the other things we do in our lives?

Before we get into that, lets start at the beginning of this journey I call my life.   Back when I was just a baby, I was addicted to bottles and diapers. Yes, I could not live without them, as so many other children around the world.
But sure enough, my mother weened me off both , and I went from being addicted to bottles to cups. I find trying to have a beverage with any meal almost impossible without one.

As I got older, out came my latest and greatest addiction. SUGAR! ...I'm sure given to me as a tasty treat to get me to do or not do something my parents disapproved of.  My mother once admitted to me that if she bit into a chocolate candy she didn't like, she would pass it to me.  Like the family pet under the table, waiting for candy scraps.
But my biggest obsession with sugar, came in a form , that even had parents thinking... wow, breakfast time is so fast and easy.  The all important meal of the day, supplied to us in an easy to open cardboard box with a not so easy to open inner bag to keep that sugary goodness fresh and tasty.  That meal that is "fortified"      (there's that word again), with so many vitamins and minerals... that hard stale ball of sugar and wheat we call "Cereal",

Of course cereal... you knew who I was talking about.  Yes, I was addicted to cereal.  And why not, when you had to feed your kids something for breakfast before school.   Cereal was so popular and still is today. Its like a green light to eating shit and all you had to do is get up in the morning.  I'm pretty sure that the only true vitamins and minerals we got came from the milk you had to pour on it to make it soft enough to be more edible.

There were and still are so many kinds and flavors. Grocery stores have entire isles dedicated to this delight. In our current local Wally Mart, they even have their isle split into " Kids " cereals and " Adult " cereals.  which basically means, " hey mothers, here are all the shit , all sugar crap for your kids" , and "here is the shit, with added sugar, disguised as healthy goodness because we added fruit and nuts for you adults". !!  Read the label people... a majority of all cereals have Fructose and Glucose, corn syrup or some other form of the sweetener.  I don't care how many damn berries, sticks or nuts you stick in it.   OH, but then there is the " organic " type,  that just stick to processed healthy sugars, like honey and a cane sugar juice or concentrated fruit juices.   Even cereals that don't taste like they have sugar in them , have sugar... like Cheerios and Rice Krispies,  which is the 2nd ingredient on the box.  There are some out there, mostly the whole wheat , like Shreddies that don't... which doesn't help anyone with a wheat allergy.
Anyways, I'm going off topic here... this is about ME , not cereal.  (its always about me)

I was just a kid and addicted.  To this day, Peanut Butter Capt Crunch is my favorite of all time.  There were so many to choose from.    Count Chocula wasn't good enough, they had to come out with Boo Berry and Frankin berry... any company that thought they were losing their market , upped the game by adding marsh mellows ...yep, I was hooked and addicted.  This addiction has lasted years.

By the time I was 16 yrs , I found a new addiction... Cigarettes.  It had nothing to do with them being yummy, but more about their cool factor.... they would remain a staple in my life for the next 28 years.  Along with the sugar addiction, and a few other addictions that basically went away once I became a responsible adult.

Lets forward the clock to 2005.   I had just turned 39 and came to the realization that in one more year, I was going to turn 40.  Having spent the last 10 yrs convincing myself that I had to lose weight, then I would quit smoking, so that the quitting wouldn't pack on the added weight , I finally had enough.  and on that faithful day , August 1st , 2005 , I smoked my last cigarette , told myself that buying more cigarettes was too much hassle , and never smoked again.  Except when choking on that 2nd hand smoke those times sitting outside the Starbucks trying to enjoy my caramel macchiato or eggnog latte, while the rest of the world puffed away..

That was almost 7 years ago to the day.  ( probably exactly 7 years by the time I get this damn blog posted).
In those 7 years, I gave up McDonald's ( that lasted 3 yrs ) , I did weight watchers , which was a waste of time and money.  I never did gain that added weight from the non-smoking... in fact , by 2007, I started my aqua aerobics and South Beach diet... and took off little over 60 lbs.  But sadly, as noted before, trying to " change" into something that you are not, doesn't always last, and the 60lbs found their way back in to my ass, where they have been camping out like squatters for the last 3 yrs and invited a few extra relatives to join in. 
Despite my efforts and knowing what is required of me to get the job done, my brain simply doesn't seem to follow through..  I'm sure there are many of you who can totally understand.
Then one day, after posting on Facebook about eating ice cream, someone commented that they love ice cream and was a sweets addict.  Wow !! someone like me was out there (I'm not alone).... but they also commented that they don't eat sweets, because then they would never stop !! BINGO !  The light went on in my head and all the spiders scattered back into the corners.
That was it , I'm addicted to sugar, like I was cigarettes... and how did I quit smoking ?? just like the day after thanksgiving "Cold Turkey" !
If I was going to break myself free of eating all the crap in my life making me fat, I'm going to have to give up that one ingredient found in most of it... SUGAR .  I don't have to Change who I am or my style or start bungee jumping ... that will come naturally in its own time.  I need to just Quit sugar !    Sugar completes me , NO MORE.

Now many of you are ready to jump in and start telling me about all the wonderful diet foods out there or foods for diabetics that have substitute sugars in them...  don't bother.  I'm giving up fake sugar as well.!

Eating foods with NutraSweet or saccharine (or faux sugar), is like quitting smoking by chewing nicotine gum or fake smokeless cigarettes... you are not really quitting the addiction.. you are just faking it out.  Which in most cases leads to going right back to the bad habit you are trying to quit.

A good friend once told me after she quit smoking, that no matter how much she craves to have a cigarette, she will never smoke one, because she reminds herself , that if she has jus one, she would go back and if she went back , she would have to go through the torture of quitting  all over again. 
 I have always remembered that through these last 7 years... and I will take that advice with me going forward in this venture.
I have the added advantage that I already quit drinking diet (and non-diet) pop, however, I was substituting juice instead.  I also stopped putting sugar in my coffee for many years now.
I will not be giving up fruit by any means.  This will be my one salvation,... now Watermelon & Blueberries Complete me !!and keep me regular.  Those little blue scrubbing bubbles.

I'm on day 7 now and I'm able to look a donuts in the eye and tell it to pack its bags and get out of town.
I haven't gotten hung up at this point about worrying if the multi grain bread I'm eating has sugar in it ... as long as it has fiber. Hmmm... 12 grain donuts? no?   I still allow myself greasy treats in moderation , I guess down the road , that will be my next challenge.

I had an Aunt, that I'm guessing was also addicted to sugar, she had an entire draw in her kitchen dedicated to nothing but candy bars. (at least that's how I remember it). Guess who's house was our favorite to visit.   She passed away when I was 17 yrs old from congestive heart failure.  I can't recall how old she was when she passed, but I do know it was too soon and too young. 
So many people out there have diabetes due to all the sugar we put in our food.  If the companies out there  are going to supply it , its only natural that we are going to eat it.  
I'm convinces McDonalds food, especially those scrumptious cheese burgers, have hidden sugar. They are addicting like crack cocaine.  Which is why they are back on my "no no" list.



All I can do is fight for my own life and resist these temptations and addictions.  
So, keep your eyes peeled as I blog about my new journey beyond my comfort zone !!!

.... and maybe the odd other topic .

let the saga continue ....

IIII aaaammmm  baaaaccckkkk.................

Many my vegan blog followers have been pestering me to continue my blogging.  Unfortunately my blogging lasted about as long as my vegan journey , which was about as long as a Kardashian marriage.
Not very long at all.  .... I guess since I didn't have any inspiration on the journey of being a vegan any more , I didn't have anything else to say on the subject.

However, for anyone who knows me, knows I have lots to say about other stuff.... so I guess when the inspiration hits , I'll blog about it and keep all my blogging fans happy... and give them something to read with their morning coffee. 

Its not like there isn't enough crap going on in this world that I don't have something to talk about or stupid people in my neighborhood streets .Not everyone will agree with what I have to say... but if you don't like it, start your own blog... so Nah !

So, lights, camera ACTION... or should that be ,  Laptop ! Mouse !  ACTION !!!! ...............

Making Your Cake and Eating it too....

I wanted to bring forward for many people, vegan or non-vegan and even crazy people of the planet, that you can have your cake and eat it too... and you don't even need to make it from scratch.
( I bet your are drooling already)

I present to you:  Vegan cake in a box! and the best part is, you can purchase this product at any of your favorite groceries stores.  (I'm sure all the vegans of the world are rolling their eyes)
How's that Julia you ask. Well let me tell you!!  Just 2 words : Duncan Hines!! thats right, you heard me. Duncan Hines , North America's gateway to easy desserts.

I have confirmed and double checked that every ingredient in their cake mixes is Dairy and Animal product fee.  (and if any you smarty pants find me wrong, keep it to yourself and let the rest of us dream)
After much research, I have pretty much discovered that everything in it is basically Chemicals.
Lets stand up and thank the scientist for their tireless efforts to bring us these tasty treats in a box with no expiry date.
Now by no means is this product or altered version recipe of this product  "low fat vegan" in any way or even healthy in any form. So don't be suing me when your ass swells 3 times the size after you have it 3 meals a day for 5 months out of the year.
I'm not even truly sure its even safe to eat, but anyone who needs to whip up a quick dessert without  the guilt of eating baby unborn chickens, stay tune, because this is the POST for you!!

Lets first discuss the ingredients presented to us by the fine makers of Duncan Hines.  Now, I should point out that I did not go through EVERY flavor of cake mix they make, but just the Devils Food.  So don't try to come back and challenge me... because I might have to come back and smack you!!

* but first a disclaimer - this blog does not reflect the feelings or opinions of Google, the Pope, president Obama, Her Majesty the Queen or anyone else that I know or don't know, nor does it intend to slam DH corporation, as they have never hidden this information from their customers and in fact you can find all this information on their website, which is a lot more I can say for other products *

Now back to the blog:

the first on the list of course is "sugar", but did anyone really think it would be anything different.
2nd, "enriched bleached wheat flour" - good thing they enriched it after they bleached it.  For anyone who doesn't know what it means to enrich something, its when they Put back in the nutrition, like iron and B vitamins that they took out in the first place.  You might see this a lot on cereals and bread, same as "fortified" that make you think its all wonderful for your kids to eat.
Next is "Vegetable oil" , which is made up of things like propylene glycol mono & diester of fats and diglycrides - mmmm a tasty mouthful )
But just when you thought it was down hill from here... we have "cocoa powder".. Yeah, we like this one. chocolatey goodness for sure, but the fun doesn't last .
Than there is "Dextrose" because all that sugar in the beginning wasn't enough.
Next is "Sodium bicarbonate & sodium aluminum phosphate"... with some "modified starch".  I don't even want to know what is modified about it.
Then we have "poly glycerol and esters of fatty acid".... mother who?
Oh, dont forget the SALT.  Followed by the "cellulose gum, xanthen gum, maltodextrin" which i'm pretty sure is the part that helps it to stick to your ass and finally "Artificial Flavors" of course... to cover up the horrid flavor of all those previous ingredients.

So now that we are all educated of the chocolatey goodness of this delicious dessert... lets get started on making Vegan style.

Its not really rocket science, though one would think they need a degree in science to understand what I just read off, however I assure you that you will not need it to make the cake.

Now, once you have your cake mix box in front of you .. follow the clear and easy instructions on the back.

they will advise you to add 1/2 Veggie oil ( like it needs more ). Go ahead, add it in.....I dare ya.
then they have you add 2 eggs .. STOP !! put those eggs down.  instead , I used 1/2 cup of apple sauce..  Yes, simple apple sauce... make your own if you wish.  Stay away from sweetened brands if you can... because I assure you, there is sugar already in the cake mix... really , there is .  (getting hand smack out)
Then it has you add 1 1/4 cup water ... I cut back on the water because the apple sauce is already runny.  I I would start with just 1 cup... might seem too thick, but trust me, it wont cook on the inside before the outside starts to burn... SO DON'T DO IT !!
mix and back as per package instructions. 

And there you have it !!  easy peasy sleezy !!   It will come out so moist and tender, you won't even need any ice cream or whipped cream on top.  even better while its still warm.

And the best part is, you don't have to even cover it up, that baby will stay so moist for the next week.
If you can make it last that long. 
Thanks Mr (or is that Mrs) Hines.

DIG IN !!

PS - I felt I should also point out, that the makers of this cake mix were sure to put in bold letters, as a warning to anyone making or consuming this product that is has " Wheat Product " in it.
Thank God they point out this obvious, yet very dangerous ingredient before I made it.
I was so focus in on the goodness of the Maltodextrin that I almost missed the Wheat Flour product.

Once again the world is a safer place.

yeee haaaa.... ride em' cowgirl

so I bet many of you are wondering what happened with all the blogging... well, I am not sure.  I had many idea's , but I guess life got in the way and oh yeah... I kind of fell off the vegan wagon. Ouch, only a few bumps and bruises, no panic, I'll be ok.
Maybe in my own shameful way, the brain went and hid in the proverbial sand until I forced it out with a new laptop and a crowbar... woot woot.  OH and I promised a co-worker who is laid up in bed that I would keep blogging so she would have something to read now and then.  I guess the guilt is too much to let her down. So here I am.
Meat or no meat... lets keep chuggin' away shall we.

Now back to falling off the wagon. I didn't completely fall off the wagon, every now and then I do consider a vegan alternative to the meal I'm about to prepare, but some how get swayed back to the Porkside of the force... damn those pho restaurants, damn them to hell.
I suppose the call of the cattle is too much to resist, and the call of the doughnut, the pho, the pizza, chicken wings etc.  (maybe I should change my number)

oy vey !!


 
However, I have not given everything up.  I have stayed true to my almond milk in my coffee, I have stayed away from butter and most dairy products, with the exception of some cheeses. Damn that cheese again.  "get your paws off me you damn dirty provolone!!"
I'm sticking with my whole grains in my morning cereal and breads. But sadly, the consequences are showing on the scale once again.
hmmmm... wonder how all my other dieting counter parts are doing since New years??

So, its time to change the tactics of this whole situation.
Come on now, I can already hear you all grumbling, "there she goes, back to eating meat, couldn't keep it up, giving up...blah blah blah, now the blog will be boring"  Do not fret my friends, for I will share with you my next crazy idea.....

last weekend, I went and had a Live Blood analysis done, as opposed to a dead blood analysis, as the results of a dead blood analysis would be pointless ... as I would be dead.  Though, I would lose a lot of unwanted weight, and fat , and flesh .. oh, but then I would be feeding the bugs and that wouldn't be very vegan of me... so , lets stick to the LIVE BLOOD shall we.

So, I get this analysis done.  Its not really a test, they don't test anything and I don't remember any multiple choice questions, however, I did have to answer a simple questionnaire regarding my current health.

I won't bore you all with the full details of this analysis, however, the purpose of it all, is so that you can see what kind of "condition" or "state" your blood is in.  And then learn to eat better to reverse the effects.  Some have heard about the " eat for your blood type " diet.  This was similar, with the added bonus of knowing that your blood is crying out for help.  You can see it on the monitor which is hooked up to a microscope... the cells are pretty much group in clusters, shaking their little fists at your, giving you the finger and crap and warning you, if you don't shape up, they will ship out.

The good news is, I am still alive and I have AB type blood.  Figures I would get the odd blood type.  There are less then 5% of the worlds population...
oh sure, I couldn't have been in the 5% worlds riches people.. NOOOO .

But what this all means, is that I now can see the list of foods that I'm suppose to eat for my blood type.  And the scary fact is.. its practically VEGAN !!!!   and not only are they vegan foods, but Low fat vegan foods !!  " GET OUT ! Right?"
The goods that are considered vegan, but on the fatty side, like avocados, black olives etc are OFF my list.  Other foods that are generally ok for me, are still a high glycemic type food and I should stay away from.
The only Non vegan foods I can partake in, are turkey, egg whites, anything made from goats milk and mozza cheese... (yeah pizza).
I've decided starting March 1st , just for shits and giggles, to try and eat within my blood type.  This still gives me a bit of dairy freedom, however, since I'm not allowed caffeine or coffee, no need to worry about the almond milk any more... booo !
I will keep blogging until then and on ward !!!

Cheater, Cheater Pulled Pork Eater......

Well, I did it again, I allowed myself a cheat day, however, if you think back on it, it was actually more like a cheat week last week.
I guess because I dont have this burning urge to save the planet and all of gods creatures, because like most people, its easier to be in denial for the good of the pulled pork and bacon and grilled chicken.  So many of us like to believe that there is a special land where cows are dancing and singing and all to happy to fill those buckets up with milk and hand them to the farmer, who takes such good care of them and tucks them in every night to bed.... yeah... NOT,  but we believe in this anyways, every time we scoop into some ice cream, saute those mushrooms in butter and eat that multi-topping cheese covered pizza.  Forget Jersey Shore !! Hello Jersey Cows... ( in Snooki's case theres not much difference. - oops did I just think that out loud?? ) Anyways, I'm sure you get my point.

Because of the land of denial, I allowed myself for a whole week to come up with excuses to allow myself to indulge in non-vegan fare.  Everything from not upsetting the boss at office lunches, because the vegan restaurant was closed, as well as, " this dish has less fat in it then the vegan dish".  And once I allowed myself to cheat in the afternoon, well, I might as well cheat in the evening too... so I did!!  Pulled Pork for lunch and the a small pizza for dinner.  And not just any pizza, the New York Club at Rosodos (In Port Moody, look them up in the book ), which has every kind of meat you can think of ,
plus 3 different cheeses... Go Big or Go HOME!...

Guess what all those excuses got me... 3 added pounds back on. Yep, you heard it here first folks.  All that extra fat and processed food, 3 pounds came back. Now, I'm sure in the grand scheme of things, its mostly water weight from all the added salt that was probably consumed at the same time...so, I'm not pulling the steak knives out just yet and slitting my wrists. I'll save that for the next Jersey Shore episode.
The realization of the 3 lbs sent me back on the straight and narrow for about 4 days.  Then it was Friday again.. and what is Friday you say?? Friday is Pho day... and my denial land of the world of pork came flooding in and a few other excuses too...and I had my pho... my vermicelli noodles w/ spring rolls.  And God said, "a table for 3", And it was good. And we rejoiced.  [julia: 2-4-12] .
And then the next day, which is today, I went off to a party that was a pot luck.  And like all good foodies, I made my famous beef and pork laden chili...and it was good and again we rejoiced and then took a handful of ant-acids.

The one thing I have not done, is given up the hope and optimisum that I will continue to try and turn my eating habits around, and seek still the goodness of the vegan way of life.
A month later, and I still haven't taken the jump off the cliff into the world beyond my comfort zone.  Unless you count that one dish I made that was so bad, we all threw it out. (not up) Even the dogs couldn't be bothered to try and dig it out of the trash.
I have learned, that when any person tries to change a way of life, in order to obtain something they think they don't have now, that without a "change in thought and belief system" , old habits die hard, and usually end up kicking and screaming until you start to make excuses once again to jump right back into the comfort zone.  Maybe that's why its called comfort food. 

Tomorrow is a new day, and there are more cows and pigs and chicken to save... and I will continue to fight the good fight for all animal kind... at least until the next pho Friday!!

Lets Talk Dirty Shall We..

Can we talk dirty? Come on I know you want to.

You know what I'm talking about...everyone is doing it.  Some do it more often then others. Others try not to do it at all, but then the urge is too strong.  Some do it at 37,000 feet, some people have to get help doing it.  Some people actually make porn movies doing it...
In some cultures they do it in different positions, but the experience is always the same.

You know what I'm talking about....going to the bathroom of course.  What did you think I was talking about? (perverts!)

We ask ourselves the age old question, "Does a bear shit in the woods?". Why do we ask this? Has no one ever seen a bear shit in the woods?  I don't really recommend that you sneak up on any bears, especially why they are shitting. Of course, this would be a good time to escape a bear, if you have already been captured.
I think I know why we ask this question... because based on the bears diet of sticks and berries and some fish, I doubt anyone would know what bear poop even looks like.  We'll, just ask a VEGAN!

You knew we had to get to the subject sooner or later..... 

Years back when I did my high protein-low carb diet with lots of veggies and salads, one of the foundamental supplenments I learned that one should take was some stool softener.  All that fiber really gets a girl into a "bind".  Maybe its all the cheese, maybe all the lettuce. or all that yummy dry chicken breast.  However, if you didn't drink the water, bathroom time was trouble and left you wishing you had eaten a McDonalds cheese burger to keep things moving.

Now, I knew going into the vegan way of life, that I might have to deal with some situations that left everyone in the room looking at the dog, however, I was also expecting to have to pull those ducolax pills out once more. How wrong I was!! 
Not only is the situation a loose matter these days, but sometimes its an urgent one as well.  Sneezing is not always my friend.
There is a reason I have always referred to Blueberries as "Scrubbing Bubbles".

Maybe I should consider a cleanse?? but dont fool yourself folks, all those sticks, seeds and berries do clean out the pipes, whether you want them to or not.  

I haven't yet sat down and compared any bathroom habits with another vegan, and I'm sure if I found one over the age of 50, they would be more then happen to provide me with many a tale...but for now, seeing that this post is already in the crapper... I think I'll leave the subject along for everyone to discover themselves.